Memories of Shore Establishments

 

From Tony Marsden

 

 A. Does anyone recall Winston? This has nothing to do with politicians, but is about Able Dog (or was that Leading Dog) Winston.
Winston was based at Philomel during the 50’s & was a Bulldog.
I recall him getting a hard time from Artificer Apprentices who would tie his lead to the striker rope of the bell which was (still is?) outside the Chapel.
Winston would move about & the lead would cause the bell to ring, so he would go “berko” at the noise, causing the bell to ring again etc, etc.
Poor sod!

B. Who remembers being on a ship alongside the main jetty & whilst on Duty Watch being detailed for “Gash Party”
Boy, did I hate that job!

The gash was collected in bins from each ship & dumped into the Gash Shed which was about halfway on the inner side of the jetty.
The Gash Party had the enviable job of shovelling the assorted food scraps etc into the Gash Barge which was “Parked” beneath the shed. This stinking heap was shovelled into the open “hold” of the barge and the shed hosed out.
On completion the Gash Barge would motor round the end of the jetty into the harbour & then proceed out past North Head & round to the Rangitoto Channel escorted by a large aerial squadron of “Shitehawks”
At an appropriate position in the deeper water the Gash Barge would open the bottom of the “Hold” & the contents would be dumped into the water.
I guess that this would be somewhat frowned upon in this more enlightened age, but it was routine for many years.

C. During the early 60’s I was in Philomel when the services of some of us were required for a Royal Guard as the King & Queen of Thailand were due to pay a visit.
We had the requisite number of training & practice sessions being shouted at by a host of GI’s until we got it right before the great day arrived.
We (the guard) were dressed in the usual finery of No’1s with white webbing rifle slings & white gloves, marched down from near the Chapel along the road accompanied by the band round to the parade ground outside the front steps.
Over towards the road that goes round of & round the dry dock a fairly substantial “Grandstand” had been temporary erected for seating spectators.

The guard halted in the required position out the front of the steps & were duly organised for the Royal inspection which was being carried by the King whilst the Band played the usual “Om tiddly om pom’s” at a subdued level.
Suddenly, what appeared to be a large quantity of Dockyard Matey’s who were seated in the stand, started whistling the Colonel Bogey theme from tune from “The Bridge on the River Kwai”. (you probably recall the words: ♫Bollocks & the same to you♫ etc etc.)
Another strike against political correctness.

 

From Jim Dell

 

Remember Able Seaman "Yorkie" Glenton? The last seagoing bugler in the RNZN. I remember Yorkie on the Royalist, where life aboard a Cruiser was invariably kicked off with a blast from Yorkie's bugle. For those of you unenlightened ones, on the "Big Ships", routines were carried out and finished by the bugle and not the bosun's call. When entering and leaving harbour, Yorkie would stand on the top of B Turret and sound the Alert and Carry On as required.

The end of an era.

 

Who remembers Chief Petty Officer Basil Le Compte - the last Boom Defence rating in the RNZN? (Or was he a sailmaker?) During WWII there was a boom defence net strung across the channel between North Head and Rangitoto Island. The primary objective of this net was to stop submarines from slipping into a protected harbour. One would assume that another net was put in place between Rangitoto and the Auckland side of the harbour. Does anyone know whereabouts this other net came ashore? The boom defence building on Rangitoto was still there up until the 80's - not sure if it is there now or not.

 

From Brian Henman (aka Gunther)

 

1964, April. Get off the train, just arrived from Dunedin. Came up from Christchurch with Trigger Gunn, soon to be medic. he was the only one I can remember from the train trip .. anyway, off the train onto the platform, petty officers for miles, all very friendly, thank you this and thank you that, and one petty officer who came up to me, asking if I was Brian Henman, and that after the basic training, he would speak to me again - and he was gone. That was Al Parker.. over the bridge and the harbour was sparkling still as a mill pond- beautiful sky, bit chilly , but just a nice day to join the RNZN .. arrive at Tamaki, everyone in charge still friendly, cup of tea, then off to our respective divisions, and our new dorms. Very nice..our divisional chief, a G.I all very friendly. Our divisional Petty Officers, Pete Coffee being one of them, all very nice .. then off to the stores to get our new kit - then having to sew our names on all of it.. also to polish our shoes and boots to a high standard. Then being admitted to the RNZN. How things changed, from thank you or beg ur pardons now. Oh no .. we were anything but, the lowest of the low etc..then it was into it. Parade training, tying knots, P.T. and those early morning runs down to Devonport and back, to the showers, then onto breakfast and those long lines, then to cleaning stations, windows being cleaned with newspaper, cleaning the heads .. the what.. oh the toilets. The flats .. the what .. oh the corridors. The bulkheads .. the what .. oh the sides of the building, the deckhead, where..ohhh, and so on and so on. Fall in for inspection, parade training - eyes left, eyes right, into line left/right turn, halt - God the list went on and on .. Bolland on the bight, reef knots, sheeps bends, round turn and two half hitches, what?? Forward, aft ..where??? Parade training again .. don't move, you move one more time and I'll have you - did you have breakfast this morning, if you did we wasted two and six on you (two shillings and sixpence) .. The rifle, up two three, over two three, one. Stand easy, what?? oh tea time..religion..Harry Taylor, what a man, I dont think I heard a bad word from him all the time I knew him, and I knew him as much as any rugby player knew him .. and his off sider - Algi Walton. aaahhhhhh! aaahhhhhhh! What's going on Henman aaahhhhhh! Church on Sundays in that little chapel - alter boy [i was] candle stick holder, usher, had to be, if you didn't , you didn't play in the rugby team..[blackmail if ever there was] Being told to go the chaplains office, to discover Harry the pard and Algi deep in discussion [glass of whiskey in hands] telling me I would be off punishment in time to go to the game on Saturday afternoon. Being taken to the dairy in Devonport late in the afternoon to be given icecream -lots of it, by a grateful Harry taylor, as we had won another game for Navy in the under 19th grade..then back in time for scran...The inter division pillow fights, being caught and out onto the parade ground with a pillow above your head, then made to frog hop all over the parade ground jees' it hurt. Our first live firings at Whangaparoa, and the bus trip out there, along wairau road the old Albany highway - God how things changed in the not to distant future along that route .. And then the passing out parade, the prizes etc, didn't get any of them - and then off for the day, but not yours truely, oh no, that 'orrible chief Chief G.I had found my dirty rugby gear that I had stowed above my bunk [deckhead] so off to more painting stones outside the q'masters hut, and anything else that moved. Whilst the lads went over to Greg Hartleys house up in Ponsonby, I think for some beers and WOMEN..

 

 

 From Chris Precey 

 MISSING NAVY LIFE ?

1. Build a shelf in the top of your wardrobe, fit a thin mattress and sleep on top of it.

2. Remove the wardrobe door and replace it with a curtain that is too small.

3. Wash your socks and underpants in the bathroom sink every night, then hang them on the water pipes to dry.

4. Four hours after you have gone to bed, instruct your wife to whip open the curtain, shine a torch in your face and say, "Sorry mate, wrong pit!"

5. When you have a shower, remember to turn the water off when you soap.

6. Every time there is a thunderstorm, sit in a wobbly rocking chair and rock as hard as you can until you are violently sick.

7. Put diesel oil into a humidifier and set it on high to achieve that wonderful Ship Aroma.

8. Don't watch TV except for a movie at 2030. For added realism, have the family vote for which movie to have and then select a different one.

9. Leave a lawnmower running in the house to re-create correct noise levels.

10.Have the postman or paperboy give you a haircut fortnightly.

11.Once a week, blow compressed air up your chimney, ensuring that the soot is carried over to your neighbour's home. When he comes to complain, laugh in his face and say "That's life in a blue suit mate"

12.Buy a rubbish compactor, but only use it once a week, storing all of your rubbish in the shower cubicle.

13.Wake up at midnight each night and make a sandwich out of anything you can find.

14.Have a fridge in your home specifically for beer and put a lock on it and give the key to the local policeman.

15.Keep spare keys for above and empty it every lunchtime.

16.Devise your family menu a week in advance without looking in the fridge or freezer.

17.Once a month, take apart every household appliance then re-assemble them.

18.Use four spoonfuls of coffee per cup and wait 3 hours before drinking it.

19.Invite 40 people you don't like, to stay in your house for a couple of months.

20.Install a small fluorescent strip light under your coffee table then lie underneath it to read a book.

21.Raise the thresholds and lower the top sills of all the doors in the house, so you will either bang your head or skin your shins every time you pass through them.

22.When baking a cake, prop one side of the cake tin against the side of the oven and when it has cooled, spread icing thickly on lower side to even it out.

23.Every so often throw one of the kids into the bath and scream "Man overboard!" Sling in a sponge with a flag on it, then run into the kitchen and sweep all the pots and pans onto the floor and yell at your wife for not securing for sea.

24.Get your wife and kids to clean their rooms every evening and at 1900 wander around the house with the local policeman.

25.Name your favourite shoes "Steaming Bats" then get the kids to hide them around the house.

26.Lie on your bed, or sofa and fart for absolutely no reason.

27.Insist on going to the local post office for your mail and get them to phone you when it is ready for collection.

28.On Saturday morning walk around the house, whistling loudly and insist that everyone you pass stands to attention.

29.Paint the outside of your house battleship grey and put the number on the wall in big black letters.

30.Put windows and a bloody big wheel in your loft.

31.Every Thursday at 0500 in the morning, run around the house yelling "Hands to Action Stations!"

32.Roll up a soft porn magazine and stick it behind the cistern in the toilet all of your visitors can read it.

33. When the family demands more food, yell back at them "WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FOR 39p PER DAY, PER MAN"!


Ahhhhh those were such happy days

 

 

From Jim Dell

 

Remember the days before the Central Regulating Office in Philomel had about 20 Crushers sitting around doing nothing all day? Advanced courses (Leading Rate to Petty Officer) were always on the go in TASMAN, which was the training establishment inside Philomel. Consequently, all Leading Hands had to take turns in doing Corporal of the Guard.

I think Philomel had four cells in the cell block. If you were duty COG and there were no prisoners, then you had a cushy number. If the cells were full, then you had a busy time.

Prisoners had to take their shoe laces out and trouser belts off. These items weren't permitted in the cells in case a prisoner did himself a mischief. There were no sheets either, as these could be ripped up and used as a rope. Likewise, no pillows. There was a wooden block screwed to the wooden slab (the bed) as a pillow and they were issued a couple of blankets.

Your routine started after classes finished for the afternoon:
1. Report to the CRO for a briefing.
2. Supervise the prisoners having a shower. One at a time.
3. Take the prisoners - one at a time - for scran. They had a metal plate, tin mug and a stainless steel spoon.
4. Tuck them into bed with a bedtime story.

In the morning, you got up early and did the same routine, except after breakfast, they had to scrub out their cells and the cell block. No matter how many times that block got scrubbed out, there was a distinctive smell that you couldn't get rid of.